Choosing happiness

No matter what we are experiencing we still have the ability to make choices- even though we may think we don't. I have observed this so clearly with cancer patients.

As for me, I have made a pact to always choose happiness. And peace. As I write this, I recall the many faces of cancer patients that I've met along the way. All remarkable human beings - but no different than you or I. We all have it in us. We just need to reach down and grab that strength.

- the young woman waiting for her catscan with me, her lovely, curly, long hair was starting to fall out on top. She'd already had two mastectomies and was told not bother with chemo as she was "not long for this world". She had traveled far and found a doctor who would help her keep fighting now. She was beaming from ear to ear as I mentioned to her that the new scarf she had purchased to cover her head was very pretty. Her sister was helping her tie it. We held hands briefly before she was called in for her tests.

- the young wife in the elevator. Bald and proud of it. She had just undergone chemo and told us that her husband hates it when she goes for chemo because she finds it's an aphrodisiac. He blushed and we all chuckled. I so blessed her happy spirit as they walked out the door.

- the peaceful woman waiting with me for pre-surgery evaluation. I noticed how weak she was and prayed for her. I was going in to surgery with a strong body and saw that in her case, she was so physically weak. But, I could see her spirit was strong. She patted her husband's hand every so often as he sat silently, eyes closed, shaking his head back and forth. The peacefulness and calmness she offered was so very beautiful. As her name was called, she stood up gracefully - tall and hauntingly lovely with her carefully wrapped turban headress.

Oh, how I would love to see these women again. I wish them each well. I hold them in my heart because they remind me that we all have choices.

Today, I know my father-in-law is melting down as he faces an exploratory view of his pancreas at the Mayo Clinic. We all react in different ways when we face our mortality.

As for me, I will always be grateful for what God has given me. Every moment is precious. I will surely build on the inspiration of these glimpses of peaceful acceptance when I go in to Sloan Kettering in a few weeks for my own semi-annual tests. Of course, I have fears just like we all do. But I will choose my happiness for every second that I am fortunate enough to be here.

-- Dedicated to Mert.. stay strong.